Did you obsess over My So Called Life? Did you want to be Claire Danes? Still do? Yeah, me too. And Jordan Catalano! My goodness was that boy cute! Where were all the guys who looked like that at my high school?! It’s a shame that show wasn’t on for longer….
While I sit here, thinking about all the ways my life has changed and especially when it comes to dating, I often compare myself to the Sex and the City ladies. I mean, I’m in my 30’s, as were they when the show started. I’m now back in the crazy world of dating, trying to navigate my way around the weird and bizarre. Instead of NY sex clubs, we have Tinder! HA! It’s comparable. Although, I wish there was way more Sunday brunching happening in my life.
In many ways, I’m Sex and the City. Mentally sometimes, I’m full blown My So Called Life. Case in point: Cute 26 year old messages me via dating app. Um What?! Yes, I said 26! AS IN 7 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME! And all I can think is, this guy must have made a mistake. Maybe he was just sending out a billion messages. But why would this guy need to send out a ton of messages? For whatever reason (because he was cute and young and for the sake of the dating experiment), I message back. I don’t have any clue what to expect, and am fairly sure this is going to go downhill quickly. Messaging is basic, and then he says “You’re very cute.” And this is my cue to review the pictures that I have posted, because am I? Sure, ok, I am cute. But very? I’m not so sure. I’m convinced it’s a line. He’s totally a liar. So, I respond with humor, “Thanks! Is this where I say ‘you too!”? Which, I guess he thought was funny, or at least picked up on the fact that I was trying to be funny. I’m sure this is hoot for him. Maybe I’m a bet. I know there are many more available cute 20-somethings that he could spend his time with.
Imagine my surprise when this guy DOES message me 2 days later asking if I wanted to text him. Um, ok. You do remember this is me? You can still see that I’m 33 and have 2 kids? Sure, we can text. Again, he compliments me. Again, I stare at the picture trying to see if what he says is true. We agree to meet for a coffee date. He runs late, which I don’t mind, but it does seem to be a theme with my coffee dates. He finally walks in, and I’m watching him, reading his reaction to me. He played it very cool in person. We go outside, sit on a bench and chat for about an hour. It’s a fairly easy conversation. He didn’t make it obvious that I was significantly older than him by the subjects we talked about.
It was time to go; I needed to pick up my kids from school. He walks with me for a bit, and when it was time to part ways, he says “text me when you get home, so I know you made it safe.” This was noon. It was the middle of the day. I’m maybe 5 miles from home. I’m sure I made a face. I do not have a poker face to save my life. Seeing my confusion, he says, “or not, you don’t have to. For all I know you may never text me again.” I laugh. I felt bad. I realize he was being polite, and gentlemanly. I resolve to let him know when I’ve made it home, after I pick up the kids from school.
But instead, I have a text waiting for me, “So, you are REALLY cute.” Just like that. With capitals. What!? What am I supposed to do with that? I don’t even know! Were we not just sitting together 20 minutes ago? Some one needs to tell this kid that compliments should be given in person. Shit. That’s me. Isn’t it?! I’m the person who needs to tell this kid that compliments should be given in person. I feel like I’m missing the rest of the statement. Like, “so, you are really cute (for online dating), or (for your age), or maybe (for a lady who has two kids). I make no real effort. I am certain this is a joke. And for every short message he sends me, I’m staring at the phone for 20 minutes trying to make sense of it all.
He texts me later that night, after work, and asks about my schedule. I give a short answer about being busy, and he steps it up “well if you find some time, maybe I could take you to a movie?”