Well, Young Gun turned out to be Young Dumb. I knew he was young. I knew he was probably an idiot. I mean, at least he was a cute young idiot. Eyes wide open, and such. Who am I to systematically rule out younger guys during this dating experiment. Fair is fair. I did not expect him to be this dumb.
Three dates. Two coffee dates, and a dinner date. One nice kiss. And a Girlfriend. Yup. That happened. Young Gun had a girlfriend. This was not a, bummer he’s seeing other people, this was a legit girlfriend. He was in her Facebook profile picture. That’s serious commitment people.
I’m a little mad I didn’t figure it out sooner. I mean, I looked too. There was no relationship status, no obvious significant other on any of his social media. It was easy to not link to any girlfriend because all his social media is fairly public, because he’s kinda a public guy. I mean, he’s on local TV.
This is where he is a super young dumb idiot. He is a public person (I’m totally rolling my eyes so far into my head right now), and he put himself out there on a dating website, and then DIDN’T hide who he was from me. He could have told me he was anyone, with any job. I wouldn’t have know the difference. Instead he chose to flaunt this fancy job of his. He tried to use it to his advantage. Stupid Stupid Stupid. I hope he’s learning his lesson. Because, I could have been a crazy person. I could have RUINED him. It’s out of respect for the girlfriend, who is very nice and DID NOT deserve any of this BTdubs, that I am not using his name right now. He’s lucky, and he doesn’t even know how much.
I found out today because he posted a video to his Instagram. There was one comment, from a girl, and my gut said “follow that rabbit hole”. And when you go through shit, you learn to listen to that inner voice. We’ve become good friends, me and my intuition. I’ve promised never to ignore her again. She’s smart.
Anyway, I found the girlfriend, and then realized that she was in fact an actual girlfriend, and not some crazy girl calling him her boyfriend after they went on a few dates. Because that could have been the only reasonable explanation.
We had a date planned for Monday. I cancelled via text. And once he responded, and I knew he was paying attention, I called him out. He may have erased all the texts – But I haven’t!
First: I am SURPRISED he didn’t just cut ties and block me then. I think that would have been standard protocol. Whoops! Well now he knows.He gave me a lot to work with. Thanks!!
Second: “Yes” Yes, she knows you are seeing other people? or Yes, there is a perfectly good explanation? Because, I already covered this, and nope. There isn’t one. I checked.
Second: Um, I’m sorry. You’re on a dating site because you have a girlfriend and you don’t know if things are working out? Let me help you – GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP before you meet someone else. It kinda works out better that way.
Then he actually KEPT TALKING! I mean seriously dumb!
Dear dear dear misguided boy. I am not dumb, although I may play plenty dumb as it suits me. You just tried to excuse your behavior, and then classic(!), tried to get sympathy. I’m sorry you’re an idiot, but that’s not stopping me. A lot of things in life are complicated. You want complicated!? I know complicated! Too bad. Grow up! Get your FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER! Do not think for a second that you can play someone, and get away with it. Hell, you may get away with it short term, but not forever.
When a woman asks you a question, you better believe she already knows the answer. She already knows the answer. She has data. She has charts and graphs and a power point ready. Please, do not lie. Do not try to justify. Do Not Try to tell me anything but the truth. She called you her boyfriend today, and unless you are trying to tell me that she dumped you in the last hour, this excuse is not going to fly. Oh, wait, even if she did dump you in the last hour, we’ve been talking for the last THREE WEEKS. That excuse is still invalid.
And WHAT is up with the “Have a good night”?!?!?! WTF? Have a good night, while I try to put two kids to bed (by myself, because please remember I’m a single mom), and console your understandably distraught girlfriend who at this point doesn’t want to tell anyone else because she doesn’t know what she’s going to do with you!? Yeah, OK. I’ll get right on that. Have a nice life.
Me saying I’m sorry too…. well….. I’m sorry that I have to tell your girlfriend. I’m sorry I have to put this on the internet. I’m sorry that I may or may not email it to you at some point so you can feel famous all over again. I feel sosososo bad for you. I let your girlfriend know what was up….. Maybe I should let your mother know that at least you have good manners?
Here is what I know that Young Gun didn’t – This is a hard stop for me. Deal breaker. And not only am I going to let you know I know, but I will let the girlfriend know. She has a right to this information. This should be her choice to make with all the facts she needs. I only WISH someone had done the same for me. Another girl could have said nothing and who knows how that would have ended. I have more self-worth than that. I will NEVER knowingly be in the middle of someone else’s relationship. NEVER.
Young Gun may have targeted me because I was older. He may have thought I was a desperate stay and home mom that wanted and needed attention. Maybe he was banking on me having low self-esteem. Or maybe he thought I would be an easy lay. The poor kid had no idea. I am not, and will not, be an easy target for some jerk. Not again. He had no clue. He saw that I was pretty, and I was funny, and “had a good personality” to boot. He didn’t know that I am smart (probably have a higher IQ than him), I’m jaded (LA will do that to a girl, oh yeah and the Ex helped), I’m blunt (usually without being rude), and I do not take any bullshit from anyone! I ain’t got no time for that!
At least he wasn’t married with kids.