April Fools

I hate April Fool’s Day. Its my LEAST favorite thing. I am a fairly cerebral person, and when information is presented, I take it at face value most of the time. I hate pranks. It doesn’t seem fun or playful or a good time to make fun of people, or make them look stupid. Not my thing. April Fool’s is the worst.

I first met Good on Paper for a coffee a few Saturdays back. We totally hit it off, and before I knew it, it was 3 hours later. I feel like, that’s a fairly successful coffee date.

He is much better looking in person than his online profile pictures. I’m pretty sure he thinks he’s being goofy, or ironic, or even super honest by posting unflattering pictures of himself. He just doesn’t look like those pictures in real life. He is cute. Not in a drop dead gorgeous way, but in an approachable goofy dad kinda way.

He is fun to be around. He is funny, and we laughed a lot. It was easy to talk to him. He is sensitive, and caring, and insightful. He and I have a lot in common, and plenty of differences. He is really smart and can talk about anything and everything, and is very talkative and engaging.

Our second date was a dinner date. There was easy conversation, shared looks over the waitress asking silly questions, and a power outage! After, we went for a stroll through the shops that were near by and window shopped. Several of the stores were furniture stores, which started me on the subject of design, furniture design, furniture periods and styles, interior design, and home design. He listened intently, and I showed him some of the rooms I had put together. He tried to convince me that design should be my career, and I tried to convince him that it was just a fun hobby.

We stopped for drinks, and kept the conversation going. We talked about anything and everything. I was so into him.

Then, it was time to go. 6 hours later. We walked back to my car, and I offered to drive him to his car on the other side of the parking lot.

He was very open and honest about where he is in life and dating. He was very sweet and understanding about my situation. He said if he knew any better he wouldn’t get involved with me. “Run the other direction.” He said he knew I would be a heart breaker. Unfortunately, I know the feeling. The, I know this is going to end so very badly for me but oh well what the hell, feeling. I told him I needed to think about it.

And then, I kissed him. Just like I had wanted to do the whole time. And there was nothing. I got no tingles. No spark.

Currently I am at a crossroads. I can either let Good on Paper know that I didn’t get anything from the kiss, and end it now. Or, I can go out with him one more time, have an amazing time, try the kiss again and make sure.

The hardest part about this is that I think I already know, that despite how perfect he is, he’s just not perfect for me. I’m already jealous of the next girl that gets him, because he really is that amazing unicorn of a guy – but the shoe didn’t fit. And this is not my happily ever after guy.

It feels a bit like a cruel April Fool’s joke.


2 thoughts on “April Fools

  1. Pingback: Exclusivity Devide | contradictory and true

  2. Pingback: Insecurities | contradictory and true

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