Cleveland. Population of about 2 million in the metro area. An estimated 70% of the population is single! Amazing food scene. Great, affordable place to be single. Remember that post?!
A single friend of mine from Michigan – the Michigander – came into town knowing that I wouldn’t have kids for the weekend. We planned to hit up one of the nations best cities for singles and see what the offerings were. We wanted to check out a few of the neighborhoods known for nightlife. We had a ton of fun! It was a very eventful weekend, and it really made me appreciate this city a bit more. And it made me question the actions of men.
We started at East 4th st. and had drinks and appetizers at Lola. If you have never been, then you are surely missing out. The restaurant is a bit dark, but very romantical, if that’s what you are into. We sat at the bar, which is in the front by the windows (good for people and weather watching), and the bar itself is orange acrylic lit from underneath. The lighting of the bar is great, giving everyone a warm glowing look. We ordered the beef cheek pierogies and the crudo with tuna. We also ordered from the fancy specialty cocktail menu.
First eventful moment of the night – Michael Symon himself walked by, stood by us at the bar talking with the bartender, and then walked back to get things done. He has another restaurant opening soon, Mabel’s BBQ, which is located next door to Lola, and is a much more casual joint.
As my friend an I chatted and enjoyed our drinks, a nice guy sat down next to me. He was by himself. He started to make conversation, and I took the opportunity to be friendly. He said he was supposed to meet a friend for dinner, but his friend flaked out at the last minute due to family issues. We talked about the food a little, and he admitted that even thought he had lived in the Cleveland area most of his life, he never ate at Lola before. We chatted a little bit more about various topics. He finished his drink, and dinner, and then said it was nice chatting with us, and left.
Which brings me to my first question. Do guys still hit on women in bars anymore?
I feel like in the past the situation would go a bit like this:
Guy sees cute girls sitting at bar. Guy goes and sits down next to the girls, if a seat is available, otherwise stands behind. Guy orders his drink, and/or food. Small talk occurs between Guy and ladies. Guy judges girls reactions for possible interest, keeps making small talk. Guy decides to ask one of the girls for her phone number. Maybe he says something like, “I know you are here with your friend, but I would like to continue our conversation another time, could I get your number?” She gives it to him, and then he takes his leave.
Has there been such a shift in our culture, that guys feel like they can’t be a nice guy, and ask a girl for her number? Was he worried about coming off as too aggressive? Can guys no longer read cues? Did he feel awkward and unsure? Was he intimidated? Was it me? Was I supposed to suggest that we could do something sometime, and see if he responded? Was he just not that interested?
What happened to meeting people in random places and asking them if they would be interested in doing that thing you both just said you like to do (i.e. yoga)?
Do people only meet people online anymore? Did he leave and look on Happn to see if I was on there?
I’m wondering what happened to the art of the pick-up. Is everyone’s meet-cute in 10 years going to be, we met online?
I understand that it may seem that I am making a lot of assumptions about this guys interest in me. But, the bar wasn’t full, he made the choice to sit directly next to me. He started the conversation, and mostly kept it going. I provided plenty of eye contact while chatting with him. It just felt like there was something he wasn’t saying. I have found that whenever I “help” the guy out, and ask for his number or offer mine, that it doesn’t end well. I like a guy who is more take charge than that.
People talk to me in public all the time – I’m an approachable and friendly person, but I have not been hit on since college. Over 10 years ago.
Shortly after, we decided to move on….
To be Continued….