Can you believe a guy I’ve been texting with called me the other day. I thought it was a mistake at first, but no, he confirmed that he was actually trying to talk to me on the phone. This both was amazing, and weird. He was calling regarding plans, but still – Who actually uses the phone to call people beside their mom any more?!

Aziz Texting

One of the best and worst things about modern dating: Texting.

Me texting a friend: they will answer eventually. I’m just going to text the whole story, and when she has time she will respond.

Me texting a guy I like: OMFG why has he not responded yet?!?

I stumbled upon this article, thank you Facebook and google algorithms and spying elves that know just what to suggest I read.

Basically it’s a modern day decoder for texting at any stage of your relationship. I sent the article to a few friends to get their take. They seemed to agree with everything for the most part. It’s important to realize a text when you first start dating may not mean the same thing after you are like together together (insert hair flip).

I’ve only encountered a few of these so far in my dating experience.

The “Hey”, “Hi”, or “What’s up” text I think is pretty standard. Even I know that it means, thinking about you and maybe want to see if you are available later. Bonus points to the guy who includes a statement or question about something you were talking about before.

“I’m pretty busy with work the next few days/weeks, so I probably won’t be able to hang out” and “I have a busy week and weekend.” I got both of these from Rebound. I knew he was probably seeing other people. I was ok with that. But when he told me he was going to be really busy with lots of projects kinda indefinitely, I knew that he was trying to get out of seeing me without actually telling me he didn’t want to go out anymore. I called him out on it. And instead of just telling me the truth, he tried to manipulate the situation to make me the unreasonable one. He probably didn’t even realize he was doing it. Maybe I am giving him too much credit. Maybe he knew exactly what he was doing.

“Good Morning” texts are standard for any real, committed relationship especially if you don’t live together. It conveys that the guy woke up thinking about you. But as someone who is just casually getting to know you in bits and pieces, this definitely comes off as creepy and “relationshipy” if used too soon. I hate to think that the guy just sent “good morning beautiful” to several girls. But when I get this message early on, that’s exactly what I think.

The Day of Date Cancellation. Well, I agree. If you are getting several hours notice, then something came up and it needs to be dealt with (work, house, pets, kids). If the cancellation is happening within an hour or so of scheduled meet time, assume they just aren’t that into you.

Radio Silence. AKA: Ghosting. I’ve gotten this one too. Usually its mutual, sometimes its not. If there has only been one or two dates, I don’t mind. I get it. It kinda sucks if you have been “dating” for several weeks to months and it happens.

As yet, I have only been in the “beginning stages” and haven’t advanced into subsequent stages. Meanwhile, I’ve started texting guys more like I text all friends. No bullshit. No mind games. Just say what I need to say and move on. I refuse to constantly read into all the subtext. Ain’t no time for that!

Dear Men, I’m going to need you to read the aforementioned very serious article, and send your texts accordingly. K. Thanks. Bye.




2 thoughts on “Decoder

  1. I fell for the ‘good morning’ texts from the last guy I dated because I thought it was so sweet. Looking back now I know it was way too soon for that, and a ‘good morning’ from someone I barely know is a bit of a red flag now. Nice post! 🙂


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