Have you….?

This is a conversation I have had somewhere between more than once, and too many times.

Him: “Have you ever been with a woman?”

Me: “Um, no.”

Him: “But you paused…..”

Me: “Have you ever been with a guy?”

Him: “No.”

There are many, MANY things that confuse me about this conversation.

First, I paused due to shock. Not because I was lying. I immediately respond with asking the guy if he’s been with another guy, because well, fair’s fair.

Why do men think that this is a proper question? I am presenting myself on a dating site as female looking for male. If I wanted to date women, maybe I wouldn’t be out with the guy in the first place? Are guys asking all women they meet this question? Is this a typical 2nd date question? Do I some how, unknowingly, give off a “I would rather sleep with females” vibe?

Do guys assume that it’s easier for women to be sexually ambiguous? I mean a quick look around in today’s society, and you know the answer is “yes”. Why do guys assume that it’s easier for women to be sexually ambiguous?  What is the point of asking this so soon when getting to know a person? So what if I like women? So what if I had previously been with women? I still don’t understand the point of the question in the first place. Is this some kind of set-up question? If I did respond, “yeah there was that one time in college with Cindy,” is that a deal breaker? Does the guy move on to talking about threesomes? Is this the way the guy tries to figure out how sexually open the girl is?

Why does the guy not expect to answer the same question?

Love is love. You do you. I’m not judging. But, I can’t help but be curious where this is coming from. Did the guy have a past relationship where this was relevant information, that was kept from them and now they ask every time? Like, how I know that maybe I should ask if the guy has a girlfriend….





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