Older and Wiser

I’m realizing I’ve made it to old. And not just because the 90’s are back in fashion.

But, for just a moment, can we talk about how the 90’s are back?! I mean puh-lease! I hate seeing the young people rock the look that we thought was cool when we were in high school. AND, I’m also mad I didn’t save any of that stuff! Doc’s, skin tight bodysuits with baggy jeans or denim shorts, daisy and sunflower print dresses, slip dresses, strappy heels, dark lipstick. No thanks! I know for a fact that stuff wasn’t awesome the first time around. Good luck young people. Get ready to burn those pictures!

Only old people have to deal with this shit. Only grown-ups have this next level responsibility. Suddenly here I am, and the people around me who I love, and we are talking about house renovations, cancer scares, divorces, marriages, new babies, and death.

Life has a way of sneaking things on you. You don’t even realize its happening, then boom! I looked in the mirror the other day and said, fuck make-up where is all the wrinkle cream?! My face has made subtle changes in the last couple of years, I’m sure partly from age and partly from stress, that for the first time in my life I don’t think my face matches the age I feel. I’ve always looked young for my age, so that’s helpful. It’s not like I’ve just now realized I look like an old hag. But for the first time, I’m taking skin care seriously. Well as seriously as a person with a 2 year old who can’t remember shit.

As for the wiser part, I’ve stopped making long term goals. I can’t right now. I had a plan for my life, and it got derailed big time. In some ways I was blindsided. Anyway, the reality of where I am today, is not what I would have guessed, or could have guessed. So I can deal with short term goals. I can work on one foot in front of the other. I have a task at hand that gets me to point A.

Maybe a 5 year plan, because there are some things that do take a little time. But I was thinking about the 10 year plan, and I just COULDN’T. I could not fathom what 10 years from now *might* look like. I mean, I have super basics: In 10 years I will be 43, probably working, hopefully saving for retirement in a major way, maybe enjoying a few more vacations a year. My kids will be 15 and 13. Teens. Hopefully they will still be talking to me. That’s all I got.