There are Plenty of Fish out in that there sea, but only a few are a real catch. Its a gnarly game of catch and release.

Its been a while. I haven’t been on the dating sites much, but here are a few of the most awesome messages I’ve encountered in the last month.

Bachelor #1


Scammer. Catfish. Something. Seriously, those are not real pictures, and this is probably a 15 year old kid. NEXT!

Bachelor #2


You used the L word too soon. Insert eye-rolling. Anytime someone compliments my hair color, I have an instant urge to tell them its fake! Him: “I love redheads” Me: “I’m not a redhead!” My hair is currently red. This could change. It shouldn’t matter. And for no good reason, it really annoys me. Plus there are a million ways that someone could phrase the sentiment so that it would not come across as shallow. Like maybe, “I really like the red hair, it really makes your eyes stand out.”

Oh, and he was an actual redhead. Which makes it sound like he just really likes himself. NEXT!

Bachelor #3


I’m sorry. What?! It never fails to amaze me that men actually send messages like this to essentially what is a stranger. What a creep! I’m trying to think of a way that this message could possible be better, and I just can’t.

I get that a lot of girls on these dating sites are looking for attention. Sexual attention, emotional attention, whatever. But I feel like the girl that’s going to respond to “hubba hubba” has suggestive pictures of herself. Like booby shots, or her laying on the bed. I have pictures of me fully dressed hanging out with friends. The picture where I’m wearing something that could be remotely considered tight, I’m running with no make-up on.


Bachelor #4


You are bored and want someone for fun and to get into troubl, and then claim that you want to find someone to marry and looking for a long term relationship? And now I think you are schizophrenic. NEXT!


2 thoughts on “Throwbacks

  1. I don’t want to be all cynical or anything, but a guy who has “hubba-hubba” as part of his common lexicon hasn’t been laid by a human woman in a long time.

    Liked by 3 people

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