There are guys out there that are just a waste of time.
You think, ok nice guy, I’ll give you a chance. And you chat for a bit, a few days…. a few weeks….. and then you give up. Because the guy NEVER asks to meet.
I went so far as to give one of these guys a VERY OBVIOUS opening, and nothing. So, I generously said, “This is the part where you ask me to meet up with you for coffee in the morning.” He thought I was joking at first. Wait, what? Who are you talking to that you think I’m joking right now? Have you been stood up previously? Are there a bunch of ladies out there that just want to text forever? I’m not looking for someone to have texting relationship with. I’m here to meet new people. I’m going to MEET NEW PEOPLE. Task at hand, yo. Apparently I’m much more goal oriented than some other people out here in the online dating verse.
I met this guy, the one who I had to help ask me out. I asked myself out, really, I did all the hard work. We met for coffee at Panera. And when I got there, he was in a baseball cap, jeans, and a jacket. Super casual doesn’t even begin to cover it. I get that we are meeting at like 11:30, and it’s “early” and it’s a Saturday, but that doesn’t give you the excuse to not even try. The guy hadn’t even shaved the peach fuzz from his face. This was a 32 year old, man child. I barely wanted to make the effort to stay after that. But I did. I bought my own drink, and bagel, and had a nice little chat with the local boy.
What is that? Why are there guys out there afraid to ask the girl to meet IRL? Are they scared of the rejection? I’ve already invested my time with a conversation, at that point I’m waiting for the ask. How long do these guys think they should take before going in for the in person meet up? Here is what I’ve learned: not going to happen. That is not the guy I’m going to be attracted to. Waste of my time.
Also, can you please assume that if you are meeting a girl you met from a dating site, that you are on a date and act accordingly? If it’s not too much trouble, maybe you try just a little. Try to look nice. Try to put your best foot forward. Try to be polite. Try to be gentlemanly. Try to be chivalrous. Maybe if you get there early, text “I’m here! Want me to order a drink for you?” That would be FUCKING amazing. Major points. Just be thoughtful, it’s not just you taking time from your schedule to meet up, the other person is making an effort too!
There were several guys that I encountered that chatted with me, and it just never went anywhere. To be clear, I am not talking about the guys that I messaged back and forth with a few times on a random dating app. I know that not every conversation will lead to moving into date land. I am talking about those guys that chat with you for a few days or weeks, and then ask to move to texting. These guys give good text, usually. They are great at occasionally texting, and having a conversation. Sometimes they are good at being flirty, or maybe they are good at random chit chat.
I thought, ok the guy has a good job, seems nice, maybe kinda cute, I’d like to know who they are in real life, and NOTHING happens to move that way. AND THEN to pop up several months later, and on a different dating platform even, and say “Hey stranger” or some such equivalent?
Just…. NO. NEXT!