I have a love hate relationship with social media. Especially Facebook.
Facebook has it’s uses. I use it to post pictures and videos of my kids mostly so my family, who is spread out all over several states can feel like they are apart of everything that’s going on, without me having to call them regularly.
It’s also invasive at times with people commenting things that should be an off-line conversation.
During my Nashville trip I was Facebook outed. MJ posts a picture of us, and I didn’t know it was being posted. I didn’t know I was being tagged in it. I didn’t know this was happening until my phone started blowing up with notifications.
“UUMMM?! Are you on a vacation with a new man?”
“He’s Cute! I approve!”
“I need details!!”
31 of my “Friends” liked this picture he posted. My divorce isn’t Facebook official, but I guess my new relationship is?!
That’s a thing now. The official picture of the two of you. That’s a milestone – first public picture. It was a milestone I wasn’t fully prepared for. It’s done now. And it wasn’t about feeling guilty, that I thought I was doing something wrong by having fun and enjoying my life. It was more about that we had this little bubble happening. That the important people to me knew what was going on, and I assume the people he’s close with had an idea, but other than that we had a closed universe. Just the two of us.
Without including everyone, either one of us still had an easy out. There wouldn’t need to be any explanations, or answering random questions, “what happened to that one guy you went to Nashville with?” Oh him? Funny story. Turns out he was an assassin. Worked for the CIA. We didn’t see each other a lot. Didn’t work out.
I mean, really? Not only do you have to deal with the feelings of this failed, but now you will have to answer to all those random peoples questioning of that one time you were pictured with that one guy?! And now? What is the protocol for if this doesn’t work out as a long term thing? Does he delete the pictures? Do I untag myself? How does that work? You know, just in case?
I liked being in the bubble. Protected from public judgement and scrutiny.
My parents didn’t even know I was dating. I told my mom I was going to Nashville with a friend, and now here she is on Facebook “liking” a picture. No conversation. No questions. It is just weird.
I said something, and MJ felt bad. He had no idea his phone used facial recognition to tag me in the picture. He offered to untag me or delete it, but really I figured what’s done is done, just move forward with it.
Later, a few days or so, he says something like “Who knew posting a picture online would cause such a ruckus?” Me looking confused, because I knew. I knew it would be a thing. That it would move our relationship into a real place that we hadn’t talked about happening. I knew that it was a thing. That it was part of the relationship progression plan. He goes onto say, “there were a few hearts broken I guess.” Me still looking very confused because it wasn’t me. Breaking the hearts. He says “There were a few messages from girls, like ‘oh you’re dating someone now?’ and I replied ‘yes. yes I am'”. And I’m so confused by these revelations.
I ask a few basic question to get a little clarification, that these people texted, or messaged him. That they were girls who liked him, or wanted to be dating him. I’m not entirely sure. But I want to know! And not in a “who is this slut I’ll hunt her down and show her what’s what!” kind of way. Not at all. Just in a very curious kind of way. I don’t know why this stuff is always so intriguing to me. I don’t get jealous by it, I just want to know all the details. Who are these girls? Why did they want to date him? How long have they known each other? How did they meet? Why does he not want to date them?
Which really always comes down to “why me?” And why did we have to post the picture in the first place!? Why does everything have to be fb official? Why is everything “pic man or it didn’t happen!”? What is this prove it mentality that everyone has now?!
So, I guess I’m Facebook officially dating someone now….. That happened.