Welcome to Paradise

I usually post a few times a week. I have a ton of drafts, and I thought while I was on vacation I might have time to sneak onto the computer and publish a few. Welp. That didn’t happen.

What happened instead was a lot of down time being really bored in a city of a bajillion people. And Twitter. I was on Twitter a lot.

So I downloaded Tinder. Not in a, I hope I find a vacation hook up, kind of way….. But in the, hmmm I wonder what the pool looks like here as opposed to in Ohio, way.

I spent the first week just flipping through profiles, swiping left on all of them. I wasn’t here to match so why bother. There were one or two I did swipe right on, and only because they were so far out of my league that I knew it wouldn’t lead to a match. And if it did? Well then, ego boost!


After looking through all the really bad #MenOfTinder profiles, and tweeting about them, I was ready to try something different, before I deleted the app and went back to my real life.

I swiped right on 100 profiles. Cast a large net, if you will. 100 consecutive profiles. It was actually a bit more than that, but rounding makes for easier math. Because my (very basic two picture) profile had been up for about 2 weeks, I immediately had 47 matches. Within minutes I had a few conversations. Most were just “hey!” One cited something specific to the 6 words in the profile. Most of them were not people I would be interested in really going out with.

I went back through the 50ish matches, and there were a handful that I would give a chance. I would allow a first date to happen. Check for compatibility and attractiveness in real life. None of those guys messaged me in the 24ish hours, before I deleted the app.

After 24 hours, basic stats: Swipe right 100(ish) profiles, 60ish matches (there were a few that matched and then I or the other party unmatched), 20 guys started chats, few had a good opener line.

These seem like good odds. Sometimes I think that dating in Los Angeles would in some ways be better and easier. There was one guy… who in my head would be the love of my life. He was slightly younger, from the south, worked for a well known Taco company, was cute, and said good things in his profile. Because, what I really need is a polite family man who can keep me fed in tacos.

One thing I did learn about, or that was reinforced, was that the bio is important. If you put ANYTHING in there that might sound negative, then people will assume that you are a conceited ass or prick. For all those guys out there saying they “don’t want no drama” guess what?! you look like a prick that no one wants to date! What girl swiping is going to think…. oh this guy doesn’t want any drama and I’m a crazy bitch so I’ll do him a favor and swipe left? NONE OF THEM! What every girl is thinking, wow this guy must be trouble if drama finds him, I should avoid him.

So just a tip – don’t put rules in your bio. Rephrase your deal breakers in a positive way, or find a way to being them up naturally while messaging.

There is a strategy at play with Tinder for SURE. Either you ONLY swipe right on the guys you are REALLY interested in, and then become really invested in the possibility of matching and the guy starting the chat (not that he has to but I would give him a little time to take the initiative because I like that in a guy). OR you swipe right on anything and everything (expect for maybe the worst of it), and then see what rises to the top?


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