As if online dating isn’t confusing enough. As if half of us aren’t millennials with our brains hard wired to instinctively know how every app works. As if it wasn’t confusing enough to figure out the strategy I wanted to use for this app.
Then they go and update it. They change it. They make it “better”!
Tinder is shit. At least it isn’t the worst. There are worst things then Tinder.
Now there is Tinder Social! You pick a few of your friends that you want to go out with, start a group, and then invite others to join. I think. A few guy friends going out – swipe with a few girl friends going out, and then they all meet up or pub crawl or something.
You want to know what this looks like in real life?
I click on “going out” and it shows me other users from my Facebook page. Lets see, a friend in LA…. a friend in San Diego….. Well this is why I need Bumble BFF, because I need more single friends to go out with. Thanks Tinder Social for reminding me of just how tragically single I am.
Oh – and the last person on the list? MJ. Yep. Cause we are Facebook friends. So he shows up in my Tinder Social list. That’s not awkward at all. So I signed into Tinder, and here he is making a group with his other single friends.
Which is part of the reason why we weren’t going to work. All of his friends are single, and have no kids. All of my friends are married or coupled up, and most have kids. Two completely different lifestyle worlds. I think that would be fine in a casual dating, not looking for serious, just want to get laid relationship. The two different lifestyles coming together for once a week tryst. It doesn’t really work for a real, let’s grow together type of relationship. Which ultimately I think MJ wanted, and I am not ready for.
It all comes back to my being the wrong age for all of this. Ugh. Well, I have to blame something! It’s obviously not my winning personality and good looks. All these guys that have never been married and don’t have any kids, (or maybe they have one they see like once a week), and they want a girl that they can grow with. They want a girl that they can finish their party stage with. They want to have the girl that can go out and party hard, and when they get serious they give it up together, for each other, to take the next step into adulting. Not it.
I think I’ll meet someone in real life. I think in a lot of ways this online dating is just the practice round. I have very little expectations for this process.
The other day I went out to eat with friends, another couple. I was the third wheel, and looking obviously single. We were out at a restaurant and the waiter was cute. And young. And according to my girlfriend, he was checking me out! If I could give a random guy (who probably has a girlfriend) my number I would have. It just seems like a waste of time, maybe a fun time, but a waste. No one really lives happily ever after with the waiter they slipped their number to.
And yes – I just contradicted myself again.