Full tilt crazy town. #ThisIsWhyYouAreSingle #SingleBecause
I woke up to a barrage of texts Tuesday night – well Wednesday morning really.
I responded. Calmly. I didn’t want to fight. I’m not trying to make enemies. And you really can’t argue with crazy. I’ve heard him rant before. There is no talking someone down who has made up their mind about what is happening. There was no way I could give any explanations. AND it doesn’t matter. We were OVER already. He’s pissed I downloaded a dating app AFTER he and I agreed to end things. He initiated a break up talk over text. He wasn’t interested in discussing what our relationship issues were in order to try to fix them. That was clear to me.
Because I didn’t stay up with him and compromise my health, I wasn’t making an effort for him. Did you follow that? Good to know that’s how he felt all those times I could barely keep my eyes open because I had already stayed up way past normal.
It was clear that this guy could not communicate his true feelings. I picked up on that. I kept thinking there was something wrong. I know he was hiding true feelings behind a facade. And now I have proof.
“On to the next one! right?” YES! That’s the point of dating!! How long am I supposed to wait when we were seeing each other for just over 3 months? Uh, I think 3 days is appropriate time. AND I think I’m allowed to download an app to entertain my self for a few days while I have no other plans but to sit around and be lazy. I had no kids for the weekend, I had no plans, he bailed on me and then said we had no future!
I’m on a trashy dating site and I don’t value him, or our time together. But he is on the trashy dating sites, and did value me and our time. Still following? I’m void of emotion because I’m not dying that we both realized we weren’t really working. Was he hurt that we broke up? Or was it just a blow to his ego that I no longer wanted to date him? Really? It’s a little dramatic.
LIES! I called him out on having the app also. I could see he had it on Sunday. You know, from Tinder Social?! He said someone told him I was on there. Said he joined on Tuesday (lie) and that he swiped through until he found me. Does this make any sense? No. Because it is crazy. He’s on these apps. He met me using one of these apps, and here he is berating me. Degrading me. Judging me for also having the apps.
He’s LIVID that I would join Tinder. He can’t even fathom that I just don’t care, about the app. He is convinced I’m trying to find some late night booty call. Did he forget that I have kids? Did he forget that this is how we met, and that’s not what happened? He is also angry, I think, because he can’t really bait me. Did I respond, yes. Did I point out the hypocrisy, yes. Was he able to bait me into some epic fight? NOPE
He can’t EVEN IMAGINE the possibility that I might download the app just for shits and giggles. He thinks I’m calling him dumb. That’s the subtext I get here.
He thinks I’m lying. He’s probably telling himself that I had the Tinder going the whole time we were dating. Whatever he needs to do to make me the bad guy. To put me down. There is no way we could just be two nice people that weren’t right for each other. No. That would be crazy!
Did he find me on PoF? Yes. And we all know what I used that site for. . . Blog fodder. Yes. I kept it open, and every few days I would go through and delete the messages. Sometimes I would come across one so bad that I would write about it here. Most of the time though, I had my profile hidden on there. But that wouldn’t be good enough. Because nothing would be good enough. Not for someone that is in constant need of praise and attention.
Does any one else see the irony in this? He and his friends have these apps, therefore he and his friends are the douche bags? Anyone can download an app and date multiple strangers, and HE did. Was I dating multiple people while I was with him? NO. I. WAS. NOT. Ask him that same question…. and I bet he tells you some version where he thinks I was. “I thought we had something more than that” I don’t even know what this means. We dated for 3 months. Does this sound like epic crazy town?
Pot meet Kettle anyone? I’m going to regret the “minimal effort”? No. I’m pretty sure what I was doing is called taking it slow, and its the smart thing to do. HE IS ON THESE APPS – is he calling himself one of the married, sexual depraved, insecure, psychopaths on tinder? Well….. 3 out of the 4?
And for the record. Just because someone has the app, downloads it, and puts a picture and a blurb up doesn’t mean that they are using it. It doesn’t mean they’ve matched to anyone. It doesn’t mean they are swiping right, or trying to get laid, or trying to go on dates. You know what it means? IT MEANS THEY DOWNLOADED A FUCKING APP!!!
He never responded coherently to also being on the apps. He’s on Tinder. He was still on Tinder when I deleted it. He’s on Bumble. Still is on Bumble. I can see that he updated his picture and profile. But I’m wrong for “moving on” in two days. I’m not even totally sure what he means by “moving on” or why I would be wrong to do so after a relationship ends.
I have two theories. The first is that he is insecure (well that’s more fact than theory). That he initiated the break-up conversation but he really wanted my to argue with him about it being over. He wanted that validation that I wanted him. That I wanted to keep things going. I didn’t bite. I’m not interested in that game. That’s not my job.
The second is that he was on something when I received his late night rant. He either was drunk or on something, or maybe he was having a manic episode. Whatever it was, I hope he is embarrassed by the things he said. I hope he regrets saying such awful things because he was insecure. I hope he realizes he is everything he thought he was warning me against. I can hope. We all have our unrealistic dreams, right?!
This is EXACTLY the kind of thing I was unsure of with him.
I let him rant for a bit. When he was done I said “Ok. Thanks. Good to know how you really feel about me. I appreciate it.”
I then unfollowed him on Instagram. I also unfriended him on Facebook. If he reaches out to me again, I will block all communication.
This guy needs therapy!