What are you looking for?

“So what are you looking for?”

“I don’t know. Renting with the option to buy?”

“What are you looking for in a date?”

“‘in a date’ as in the event, or as in the guy?”

It’s these kinds of questions that I hate about online dating. It isn’t so bad if you are out, you’ve met the person, and then you’ve figured out their use in your life. Right? Is that mean?

My fear is that I will be messaging with a crazy guy, who when I have to cut things off throws my answer back in my face. You know how guys do. Well people really. Because there are plenty of women who do this too. You say you are looking for something long term. You start dating. You figure out the person is totally bonkers living in an alternate universe, maybe they truly are alien. And then you have to end things. You have to end this magical forever relationship 4 weeks in. Because now you want something long term, but just not with this person, or at this time, or maybe ever because you are sick and tired of the dating game throwing you lame excuses for a partner.

It’s much easier to have a “where do you see this going” type of conversation after you have actually seen the person for a few dates.

When a guy is chatting me up via a dating app and asks me what I’m looking for….. Well they might get a joke answer. Or I ask them to clarify. Or I turn it around to them. Because when I read “What are you looking for” the real answer is that it depends on the person.

How do you convey in a funny flirty answer all that goes into that question?

Option 1: I say I want to be friends, and see where it goes.

Option 2: I say I’m trying to casually date.

Option 3: I say something about finding a serious relationship, or “the one” or soulmate of something.

When, really it’s D, All of the above. I like people. I appreciate good people. I like having a large circle. I’d like to make friends. I’d like to casually date, see what is out there, get a feel for what I like and don’t like. I’d like to find someone eventually that I really click with on all the levels. Someone that has long term potential.

This open-mindedness that I have is why I am hesitant to make this blog have a gimmick, or a hook. I’m not against it. I like it. I like the 30 dates before 30. I like 1 year of being single. I haven’t yet found the angle I would use, but it seems to me as soon as I make some commitment to the blog, regarding dating or the amount, or the who, or the time frame, then that’s when HE will appear? Right? Inevitably. Because this is my rom-com.

It seems to me there is no good answer.



2 thoughts on “What are you looking for?

  1. Yeah if only life were like that ideal Rom-Com. For me dating life was one big disappointment….until finding the one who gets you. But really yeah that question about what you’re looking for I always thought was so stupid. What do you think I’m looking for I would say?

    Liked by 1 person

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