Call it—-Ghosted?

I’m calling it. Time of death – Friday 5:11pm (17:11 for my medically inclined friends).

Blonde boy and I were supposed to get together Monday night. But last week, two weeks? Who knows! I got an unexpected surprise. The ex could keep the kids for the night, instead of just dinner as planned. I had the whole night off!

I text the blonde boy and ask if he is available. He said he had a dinner thing with co-workers but would be available after. I said, text me after, and maybe I would meet him out. That was at 9am Friday morning. He finally texted me back at 5:11, saying “sounds good”. I didn’t respond. I figured he was confirming the plan. There was no need to respond. If he was available after the dinner and wanted to meet he would let me know.

Well he never said anything. That night, or the next day, or the next. I never heard from him on Monday, and at that point didn’t care to make the effort to contact him. I feel like he made it clear that he was only kinda interested. It’s all classic “he’s just not that into you”. So I moved on. I still haven’t heard anything from him. I’m not entirely sure if this qualifies as ghosting….. Maybe we ghosted each other. Meh.

Side Note – I blame He’s Just Not That Into You, partly, for ghosting. They made it clear that if the guy isn’t pursuing – if he isn’t trying hard enough – then he isn’t into you enough and move on, right? Right! But what is the right level of pursuing? How much does a girl need to show she’s interested in being pursued? But what if you both are juggling several maybes? What if you need more time to decide how much you like a person? Because online dating doesn’t give you that time that you have with the guy at work or school – that level of like takes time. Anyway, He’s Just Not That Into You, basically gave guys permission to be dicks. I’m generalizing.

Instead I rallied on Monday. I know I was giving guys a short notice. And I said as much. I gave Match guy a chance, but he had kids for the night. I moved to back up Bumble guy. Someone who I chatted with a bit, he had asked for my availability. I threw out the idea of meeting for drinks. He said no at first because he had an early work thing Tuesday. But his early work thing got moved to a late work thing, and asked if  I was still up for meeting. This was at 8pm. I was in pjs. But I also wanted to get out of the house, and see if there was any potential for this guy in real life.

We planned to meet in downtown Willoughby. I threw something on: skinny jeans, cute top, wedge booties. I did basic make-up with a bold lip. It took me about 10 minutes. While I can take hours to primp, I can also make myself presentable quickly.

I arrived, slightly late thanks to roadwork traffic, and he was in jeans, a plain tee shirt, and a ball cap. Really dude? Can’t even make an effort! But it was last minute, and so I cut the guy some slack.

He’s a basic Miz-Western guy. Nice, polite, funny, sarcastic. He named dropped which was a little annoying, cause it didn’t always feel like a natural progression of the conversation. Also, I’m from LA. I hate the who do you know game. I can play, but no one actually does. I’m not impressed by your distant cousin being best friends with Kevin Bacon in 3rd grade. I made up that example. I didn’t have a bad time. There were no major faux pas. He paid, and said no when I offered to pay my part.

But in the little bit that he was joking, I could tell that this guy would be the guy who would start out laughing with you, and then end up laughing at you. Like, this is a guy that takes the joke too far. This is the guy who jokes with you, and then jokes about you. Going from jovial to teasing, to relentless torment. It’s just the vibe I got.

He said he would be into a second date, but nah. Not going to happen. I wasn’t attracted in that way. I didn’t feel the draw, the spark or the chemistry. It just wasn’t there for me.

First date #11 in the books. I’m on my way to becoming that serial dater I was accused of being.




8 thoughts on “Call it—-Ghosted?

  1. I hate ghosting. I hate that they just don’t feel you are deserving of ANY amount of respect to just shoot me a text saying, “I’m seeing someone else” or… “I didn’t feel that click”

    I always let them know, just because humans deserve that much. Asshats.

    And only 11? Psh. Rookie.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ALSO… I agree that the dating apps allow this shuffling… like you might be talking to several people and guys tend to pick one and then not communicate. Like we’re disposable. I might chat with several, but if a date has been set for a meet, I won’t set a date with anyone else until that date has happened. If its good and a second date is planned, then I don’t set other dates with others. I just can’t. I feel like I need to focus my energies on one that I find interesting. Plus that avoids awkward conversations later about how you were seeing one guy the whole time you were seeing this guy, and you decided to go with guy 2, so sorry…. hit the road, Jack.


    • This wasn’t nice jeans and nice shirt, this was weekend stay at home clothes. If you’re going on a date maybe you dress like business casual at least? Something acceptable for casual Friday at work. Like dark jeans and a collared shirt (polo or button down). The shirt was plain as in looked like a light blue undershirt. I mean, first impressions and all.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well. Looks like I need to go shopping haha. Fortunately, we’re experiencing some sort of heatwave here in London so for my date of tonight I’m going to wear shorts and this weather will hopefully mean I’ll get away with it!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. @getadatein2016 – I’m not so judgy as to not go out with a guy again if he doesn’t make an effort to look nice, especially because it was just a first drinks. But in combo with the other things, I could tell throws wasn’t the guy for me. Good luck on your date! Shorts are fine with a polo (hint hint!)


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