On a Break

I’m taking a break from dating.

I’ve already deleted all the dating apps off my phone over a month ago. And I haven’t missed it at all. Sometimes responding to those messages takes so much time and effort. It’s so draining after a while.

It’s been almost a year since I started dating (for the first time in my adult life). I think now is a good point to take a step back. Process. Re-evaluate. Focus on other things for a bit.

To review, there were only three kinda real dating situations.

Rebound – dated for about 5 weeks

Magic/Crazy Joe – dated for 2.5 months

Rural – dated 6 weeks ish

Rural is the only one that is open ended (kinda). But its not worth the time or effort, because he’s not putting in effort. And I get that.

I have made two real life friends so far in this crazy adventure! One Bumble BFF girl friend (we brunch and hike and text), and one guy friend via Twitter. The Internets are crazy like that!

Going back to this break idea. I’m not going to actively seek out any dates until after my trip to Hawaii in January. So instead of worrying about boys, I’m going to work out. I’m going to get prepped to start training in February for the Cleveland Half Marathon. I’m going to look daaaaaaammmmnnnnn good in a bikini or bathing suit, and I’m planning on getting pictures. Document that shit! Look at me, at 34! Its a well deserved vacation. One without kids. I will be on a beach, reading a book, with a drink in hand.

I’m going to read. I read over 50 books last year. This year I set a goal of 80. Ha! I have not had time! And, there are some really bad books out there. There have been plenty of books that I have started to read only to abandon out of disinterest. If anyone knows of an editor that needs a remote assistant to read all their books. I feel like I could do that job. In fact, that’s on my list of dream jobs. Too bad I don’t live in New York or LA, right?

I’m going to foster current relationships over new ones. Relationships matter. People matter. Having time for people matters. I’m currently in a place, where I don’t really have time for new people. This has been a recent realization. That if I’m trying to meet new people, then I’m not contacting the people I already have first for the time I have available. And I quite like the people I have around me now.

I’m going to foster pets! I’ve been fostering animals for the Cleveland APL since August, and I love it! So far we fostered a few kittens. The most I’ve had at one time was a litter of 5! It was madness and glorious – and I was SO ready for them leave. Right now, and for a few more weeks, I have two fluffy bunnies. This is my first time caring for bunnies, not in a pet store. These gals have taken to using the litter box like champs. They get to free range in the spare room with barely a mess. The kids have made a bigger mess in that room than the bunnies!

I’m going to get my house back in order. I’ve had a lot of work done on the house this year. It has been piecemeal, and long, and frustrating, and expensive. I need to completely clear out my lower level to have new floors installed. All the furniture and toys from the tv/playroom need to find new homes. Either in my house or someone elses. So there is the posting to Craigslist, and making sure I have a friend here when some stranger comes to take the furniture.

And, there is the business of finalizing my divorce. Happening very very soon. And all the paperwork and logistical stuff that goes with transferring accounts, making adjustments, updating, titles, and deeds, signing things, and filing and filing and signing. So many phone calls.

I feel a little stressed. A little burnt out. A little overwhelmed. And friends care. The new guy you might start dating doesn’t want to hear about that shit yet. I would be wary of the guy who emotionally started unloading all their problems too soon. That’s valid. Maybe now is not the time for me to date.

 

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “On a Break

  1. I really love this post (as I just tweeted to you- ha!). It’s coming at a really good time for me for personal reasons. This dating business is really daunting, exhausting and draining. People don’t always realize that part of it. It’s not all fun and exciting; it really takes a toll on you. And I truly believe breaks are a necessity to work on yourself, evaluate and spend time on other things. Thanks for this. xo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I fully support this post and it’s declarations. I learned early that you have to take breaks every so often from the pressure of the dating thing. It really does suck it right out of you. It’s a great time to work on yourself, mentally and physically, and when you get back “in” to dating, you’ll be a better you! Don’t stop updating though!

    Liked by 1 person

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