That Friend and Other Random Thoughts

What makes you “that friend”?

I’ve found that there are far less single 30 somethings than I expected there to be. I also have made most of my friends here via a mom group, and well, none of them are single. Now I’m that mom. The singe one – I’m also that single friend, that everyone gets to live vicariously through. Which is a whole ‘nother grass-is-greener conversation.

I went out with friends Saturday night. While I have driven through Shaker Square several times, I have never gone out to eat at any of the restaurants. Many are on my bookmarked list on yelp though. A friend was hosting an out-of-towner friend from LA, and wanted to have a night out. We went to SASA, and I loved everything and immediately wanted to go back. Such good food!

While we were there and chatting about various topics, I said ooh! take my picture! Because I was cute – my hair was washed, I had make-up on, I was wearing real clothes – as opposed to my normal mom look. It needed to be documented, but also, I always need current non-selfie picture options for dating sites. I need to look like I leave the house and do things, so someone will want to do fun things that involve leaving the house with me.

So what makes you the single friend? What do you find yourself doing, that other non-singles don’t have to think about? How do I find more single friends without being a weirdo about it?

***

I’m watching Friends. From the beginning. I never watched it regularly when it was on before. But now I’m watching and pining for the 90s – something I thought I would NEVER do. I’m amazed at how much of Monica’s and Rachel’s wardrobe you can now buy at Express. I truly believe that the designers for Express have been watching Friends on Netflix, and thinking, hey! a-line corduroy or denim button front skirt! We should bring that back. With tight knit tops – ooh! and bodysuits. Yes… because women love making it harder to pee… Just wait. I’ m using my psychic powers and predicting that the men’s suit vest as a top comes back as well.

I’m amazed at the lack of technology in the show. Remember when you had to call a person’s HOUSE?! Not the person, but their house. And possibly leave a message. If you really wanted to talk to a person, and they wanted to talk to you, you would SET A TIME to talk, for someone to call the other person. Now you have a phone in your pocket. Everyone is available allllll the time, and its such a mind fuck when they ignore you, your message, your text, whatever it is. Because, you KNOW they have had PLENTY of time to see the message. You know they are ignoring you. You know the person and how often they look at their phone. Sure, everyone is guilty of being busy when the message comes in a you don’t have time to respond right away, and then you forget. Oops! But, in reality, the next time you go to text/call/message any one else, you see that they sent something at some point. Its in your list, probably not too far down, it is in your peripheral vision!

***

Modern Romance – I finally picked it up from the library. I ordered it for pick up, and then didn’t have time to pick it up so it had been re-shelved. Luckily for me, it was re-shelved at my library. While I was there I picked up a few more dating books.

To my coupled friends reading this blog – PLEASE READ Modern Romance with me!! Its a bit funny, and bit technical, it explains how our culture and dating/mating has shifted significantly in the last 50 years or so. I may suggest it for my mom group book club (even though I’m the only singleton).

Have you started reading? My plan is to publish my thoughts on the book, mid January, and then we can discuss a bit! Then set the next dating book topic.

***

After going back and forth with Rural a few times, I ended things for realsies. I tried to let it go, see if he was interested by letting him reach out to me, and I always cracked first. Gosh darn-it! So this time, I told him, via text, because it would take too freaking long to wait for him to see me in person. He acted as if I was the one who was SOOOO unavailable because I have kids and such, but the reality is he used that as an excuse. It didn’t matter if I told him when I was free or not. He wasn’t interested in scheduling anything with me. So, now I can’t go back. Its out in the open, he received the message, and will continue to ignore me. Very, very classic, hes just not that into you. And I hate it when those guys lie! When you call them out on not being that into you, and they lie because….. they don’t want to hurt you? No, dude, just agree, just nicely tell the girl you aren’t interested in dating HER.

Its not for nothing, I did learn a few things.

***

And those are my random thoughts for this week.

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “That Friend and Other Random Thoughts

  1. I guess I’m the single friend, even though I don’t have a whole lotta friends to begin with. But if you include family that I hang out with, I’m STILL the single. And I’m ok with that. Mostly. But how to meet other singletons??? Great question… the one friend I do have, was single when I met her. I have this app called Meetup.com (if you haven’t checked that out I suggest it to everyone) it isn’t a dating site. Its an activities site. You put in your loves, it suggests groups, you join groups and are notified when there are events… like movies groups, dining out groups, hiking groups, etc…. so I attended the first meeting of this book club, my first book club ever… and there was this other lady there that I thought, “I think we’d be friends, but I’m not sure about this book club.” And in the next week I screwed up my courage and awkwardly sent her a message through the meeting site and asked her out. AS A FRIEND. We’ve been friends since, but now she’s got someone. So my suggestion is putting yourself in places that have people like you in them… and just picking one. LOL.

    Modern Romance still hasn’t returned to my library yet. Still on waiting list.

    I’m proud you broke it off with Rural. No one has time for half-assed interest…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Can totally relate to being the “single friend”. Most of my friends are now in a LTR/ cohabitating/ married. Luckily I’ve made some new single friends from Bumble BFF so maybe you should give that a try!

    Liked by 1 person

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