I don’t watch the Bachelor regularly. I haven’t been a fan. The last full season I watched was while I was in college. All my roommates were into it so I found myself watching with them. Which, lets be honest, is the best way to watch the show, with friends and wine and making jokes about the ridiculousness that is taking place. When I last watched, The Bachelorette featured Trista and the handsome firefighter from Colorado. I think they may be the only couple to get married and stay married from the Bachelor franchise. I can remember thinking then, good thing I have my guy. That didn’t work out as planned.
I find the show to uncomfortable to watch. It is also too manufactured, too fake at this point. The majority of guys and girls are going on just for the fame factor as opposed to the main objective of the show, find a fiance in 8 weeks. Watching the people on the show say crazy things makes me cringe in a bad way. I can’t watch.
I do imagine, what if I was on that show?
After reading Dateonomics, I can’t help wonder how the men fighting for the one lady changes the dynamic of the show versus the ladies vying for one man.
I picked up It’s Not Okay, Turning Heartbreak Into Happily Never After, by Andi Dorfman after seeing it at the library. I didn’t watch her season(s). I don’t really know who she is, no more than her name kinda sounds familiar from watching too much TMZ. She wrote a book that is both tell-all and how-to. About her journey to the Bachelor house and beyond, all the way to her breakup with her fiance, who she never names and references as number “26”. Its Nick Viall by the way.
I wanted to hate the book. I picked it up on a lark. I wanted to not like her. But gosh darn-it, she just seems so normal. Andi takes us through her post-breakup recovery diary style day by day. She’s in the thick of it, and having the same thoughts and reactions we all have during a breakup. She is a hot mess, trying to figure out what went wrong, and how to get back on track. Each chapter ends with a lesson learned. She gives advice like your girlfriend would, with an I’ve-been-there story, letting you know you aren’t alone.
The other part of the book, which in intertwined with the self-help post-breakup advice portions, are told via flashbacks to her time on the show(s). This is the tell-all part, where she really does dish quite a bit of the good stuff. There is some tidbits regarding how the show works, who she meets, who she becomes friends with, she gives a re-cap as to what she was thinking and when and why. She starts at guy number 1, when she is on the Bachelor. I had to look up the guy. Then she walks you through her season of the Bachelorette. again, her stories had me consulting google since I don’t know who these people are, and none of the guys are named.
I would recommend this to both Bachelor fans and people who don’t watch the show. I found it super interesting to have this person go back through her relationship in hindsight, and talk about red-flags and how she viewed it in the moment versus after the breakup.