Dimples is turning into a saga. Not because there is drama. No. Because this has been a kinda sorta thing since February.
Most guys are very clear when they make their intentions known. I feel like I’m getting mixed messages from Dimples and I don’t even know if I believe in mixed messages. We all read He’s Just Not That Into You. Right?! If a guys wants to see you – he will let you know! He will make it happen! So what the hell is happening with Dimples?!
This last “date” was confusing. I got home and was confused. Am I too jaded? Does he really have a girlfriend? Has he never had a girlfriend? Is he dating other people more seriously? Does he just want to be friends? Am I annoying him? Is he trying to reject me nicely? Is he not interested in me like that? Is he a virgin? Does he expect me to make the first moves? Does he think we are dating? ARE THERE PEOPLE THAT DATE AND DON’T HAVE SEX?! Am I so used to shitty guys that I think his “moving slow” is weird?
While I first met Dimples in February, we have only been out 5 times. That’s not a lot. Its not actually super slow. Totally reasonable to not have gone further physically. But we are getting to a point of, if something doesn’t happen, I think were going to land in friends land. Which is totally ok. Its just the uncertainty and not knowing that drives me nuts.
It has me replaying every date and interaction trying to make a list of signs he’s interested versus not interested. In fact, one of the reasons why we haven’t seen each other more is because I stopped texting him after feeling like maybe he wasn’t interested and it would just fizzle out, or he would text if he was interested – right?! Well it took him a month to text me. Asked me where I’ve been. Why haven’t I texted. He wanted to see me. He reiterated it three times. Very clear – I want to see you. SO WHY AM I SO CONFUSED?!
Ok, I can figure this out. I’ll make a list.
Interested: *makes effort to make plans *meets up as schedule allows *says he wants to see me *pays for dates, even when I offer to pay my half *has good conversation *slightly flirty (or is he just being nice?)
Not Interested: *terrible at texting me *kisses me like you’d kiss your aunt Edna *never makes first move
That is the part that screws me up the most. The kissing part. Does he just not know what he is doing? Or does he not want to make-out with me?! Is he just trying to give a friendly kiss goodnight, and I’m trying to make it something more? If that was the case why wouldn’t he SAY anything? I would for sure tell a guy if he was trying to make moves and I wasn’t into it. Part of me wants to blame his age, but at the same time I KNOW there are 25 year olds out there that know EXACTLY what they are doing. Is this my fault? Am I trying to rush something to an endpoint just to get it there? Maybe I need to respect the process more and slow down?
At this point, I think I will say something the next time we go out. I will have to ask if he wants to continue to see each other or just be friends. I’m just finding it really hard to think of how I should approach the conversation….