When is it ok to have a threesome?

I’m out with my friend, in the Spaniard’s neighborhood. There was no communication after the last date. I took the chance and sent a quick message that we were trying a spot he recommended. His response was short and I didn’t push for more conversation. My friend and I continue our wine and dinner night, talking and catching up about life. It was almost 10pm when I got the next message. At the time I didn’t pay much attention to the time, but looking back, this was devolving into sex only rather quickly. He is asking questions and making conversation – and asking if I’m still in the neighborhood. I am… He suggests I stop buy and say hi. Well, I would, but I’m not driving. He offers to come get me. Well… ok then. I confirm he’s planning to drive me to my house? He agrees. I make him promise to give me two minutes to tidy once here.

On the way over he jokes about being my Uber driver. I play along and tell him the Uber driver is very cute – 5 start rating.

Inside he stays put, and plays with the dog, while I make sure the rest of the house isn’t a complete disaster. EEK! I have not had time or effort to major clean in weeks. I run up to my room and throw all the clean laundry from on my bed into a hamper in the corner.

I run back down and we open a bottle of wine and sit on the couch and talk. He finishes his glass, and I offer him more. He says he shouldn’t, that he’s not driving anywhere for hours if he has anymore. I shrug and ask who needs to drive anywhere. He makes sure, I’m not just asking him to stay because he’s (essentially) asking to stay. No, I’m not. Note- I’m a TERRIBLE influence. I fill up his glass. We get a little closer on the couch, which is not exactly comfortable. I suggest we move to a more comfortable location, wink wink nudge nudge, and I could tell he’s a bit tipsy. We move upstairs and get a little more comfortable, aka naked.

Mid fuck, he asks what I think about a threesome. He asks if I’m into it. He says what if there was a girl he knew that was young and gorgeous and was into it. I think to say I was a little shocked or caught off guard would be a bit of an understatement. I’m not an expert on threesomes, or on asking people if they are interested in them, but I don’t think MID FUCK is the time to discuss. But in my head, I was thinking, ok I can work with this, I’m listening. So, in order to keep things moving I ask him to tell me what he wants. What is the fantasy? What would be happening? From his view, how does this go down? It’s quickly clear that he is not great at multi-tasking, or he’s not quite sure what that fantasy looks like for him…. possibly both. He keeps pausing the action, to try to think of his answers – and I’m trying to get him to keep the action happening WHILE telling me about how he thinks it would work to get fucked by two women. I think he is really caught off guard that I didn’t immediately shut him down.

He was not capable of playing along with my version of the game, so I let it go, and we finished without him telling me in great detail what his idea of the threesome would be. After, while catching our breaths he brings it up again. He tells me that there is a girl he recently hooked up with, and she has been telling him about how she wants a threesome.  I ask him how long has he been planning this. And he doesn’t understand. He says the girl is into it and asking about it. I ask him who put him in charge of finding the other girl, and he responds that he doesn’t know, that he just took charge. First Red Flag – Why doesn’t this girl want to find her own lady friend to join the party? Why is she letting the guy do it?

He tells me a little bit about the woman, she’s very young (early 20s), very sexual with a high drive (like us he says, ummm really?! me?!), and she only gave him one limit. Second Red Flag – only one limit?! She’s literally willing to FUCK anyone he brings around except for this ONE limit? AND its a limit that doesn’t even make any sense to me. First, I’m probably not going to be into the lady who is that overtly sexual, I prefer subtle. Second, the limit has to do with hip size, and I don’t have wide set hips, so I am now envisioning a scene where he brings me and her to his house and she has a fit and storms off and pouts because I’ve got boy hips and a skinny ass. I don’t do immature. I don’t do storming or pouting. Not my scene, and a 20 something that is sexting at all hours and asking for random threesomes – no judgement on her – sounds like too much work for me. That’s the Third Red Flag.

We are talking this through and he asks me – Have you ever had a threesome or been with a woman? Um no, I have not. I ask him – and he tells me that neither he NOR the girl have had a threesome before either. FOURTH RED FLAG. I’m thinking I don’t want my first time with a girl to be with a girl who maybe knows nothing about being with girls. I also, think it would be incredibly awkward (maybe just me and my age) to have a threesome with people who have never done it and don’t know what to expect.

After all this lead up, he shows me her picture. While she is a very pretty girl, I’m not sure she really does it for me. He says we probably wouldn’t want to spend a lot of time with her before (the threesome) because he doesn’t think we have much in common, or that we could talk about. He emphasizes that she is really young, and that he and her just really don’t connect on a mental level, its purely physical. I can definitely understand that, but I’m not sure I find her hot enough to be able to also make that same leap. FIFTH RED FLAG. I’m out.

I honestly am not sure how much he remembers of this conversation, or if he will ever bring it up again. But, after looking at the situation and what I would be comfortable with, I think that I’m not the ideal woman for their scenario. But it made for a very interesting night.

 

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2 thoughts on “When is it ok to have a threesome?

    • LOL! its totally a personal thing for sure. The part I couldn’t understand was his lack of multi-tasking. You can’t even TELL me the fantasy while we are having sex without pausing – how are you going to please two women without it getting awkward?? HA!!

      Like

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